So... it's been a really long time since I added a new post--and yet hundreds of people are still visiting this blog everyday, which I find fascinating! I hope these older posts are still working for you and that you are able to find some great information that is helpful!
Today I wanted to talk a little bit about building relationships. This year has been a challenging one for me! I am in a new district, back on one campus, in a similar position to the one I've held for the last eight years, but every campus is unique, and some of the things I'm used to doing (like RTI!) are no longer part of my domain, and I have some new responsibilities, too, (like MTA!) I came into this new school not knowing a single soul except for the principal, who I met a few months before the rest of the staff at my interview (I didn't know her prior), and so the last few months have been all about getting to know my co-workers and students.
I did happen to bring a couple of cute little girls along with me, though! ;)
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| This little girl loves her new school and her new teacher! |
Building relationships is so important to the success of our students and our fellow teachers. I cannot effectively coach a teacher and help him or her become stronger in the classroom if that person does not respect and trust me. Likewise, we cannot teach students effectively if they do not trust and respect us (notice I flipped those two words around--that was on purpose.) The make-up of our student population is quite interesting. We have a good number of students who live in a very affluent neighborhood where houses literally cost in the millions. We also have a good number of students who live in run down apartments who aren't sure where their next meal is coming from. We have to know our kids to understand how to approach them; earning trust is different for children with opposing mindsets, and if I don't know who I'm dealing with, I won't know how to earn that trust and respect.
So, I have spent a great deal of time getting to know the kids. I still don't know all of their names or all of their stories, but I'm getting there. I am especially partial to our kindergartners, as I have been at lunch with them for most of the school year thus far. What a great group of kids! Children at that age want to trust, they want to love, they want to be loved. It's very easy to win over the heart of most kindergartners if you get down on their level and let them know you care. Even knowing their names makes their day. (It helps that a lot of things are still labeled for them!) Sometimes I'll run into a kindergartner who has already begun to question authority or has had past experiences with grown ups who didn't follow through. This is always disheartening, and it takes a while to get those kids to come over. But once you do, you're golden, unless of course you accidentally disappoint them as well. Then, you'll have to work twice as hard to earn that trust back.
For many of our older students who have lost their confidence in academics, it can become quite a struggle to get them to see us as allies. We have to work harder to let them know they matter to us as individuals. We have to let them see that we can relate to them. I do know what it's like to be in your shoes--as a kid, I was hungry a lot of nights, too. I missed my dad when I only got to see him every other weekend. I get it. I understand. I also know what it's like to think I'm not very good at something. For me it was math. But with the right teachers, confidence goes up, and so do scores. We can win these kids over by talking about things that interest them. Most of them are pretty impressed that I know who Steve from Minecraft is, or when I can pretend to know a thing or two about Pokemon. Some of the sixth grade boys are super impressed when I can say things like, "Can you believe Dan Bailey made that field goal last night with only nine seconds on the clock? Man, I was afraid the Cowboys were going to lose again." They think that's pretty cool, which makes me pretty cool, which means they'll work for me--usually.
But we have to take the time to work on those relationships everyday. And sometimes that's hard when you have so many kids to reach out to. I had a kindergartner once who introduced me to her mother as, "the lady who comes to school to see me." In little Emily's world, my sole purpose for existing was to visit her. And that's fine with me. I'd rather let her think she's my whole world than not be a part of hers.
Think about one kid today--possibly one you honestly don't really like that much or know that well--and set a goal to reach out to that child at least three more times before the holiday break. (Or if you are reading this later, in the next week or so.) Find out what he or she likes. Make an effort to single them out for something good. Say "hey" in the hallway. Call him or her by name. If you're a classroom teacher, find a student who is NOT in your class. You don't have to buy anything or give them anything tangible. Just make them your world for a few minutes. And then, most importantly, follow through. Make this year count for that kid by being there as much as you can. I promise you, they'll benefit from it, but you'll benefit from it even more.
My next post will be more academic, I promise! And it won't take me another year to write it either!
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