1) Do EVERYTHING around the house--and I mean everything. I know that may seem ridiculous, especially if you don't usually do as much as your spouse (the teacher) but this is the time of the year when you can really shine as "Super Husband" (or "Super Wife"!) Dishes need done? You're on it! Clothing on the floor? To the hamper it goes! Should you ask if stopping by Chick-fil-a is a good idea? No! Trick question--don't ask just do it! Your spouse does not have time to even think about home right now because s/he is sooooo busy at school and having you there to pick up the slack at the end of the day will be so greatly appreciated--even if s/he doesn't have time to tell you right now. And, if you also have an incredibly busy schedule and cannot possibly do everything that your spouse normally does, for the love of monkeys, do not point out that s/he hasn't done something. Dishes will get done, eventually. You will have something to wear to work. But, for now, house work has to take a backseat to the classroom, or else your lovely partner will blow a gasket and run out of steam way too early in this marathon school year.
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| This is all you now, Teacher Spouse! (Pic via Pixabay) |
2) Avoid conflict at all costs! Chances are your spouse has spent a significant amount of time today having "conversations" with little people (or bigger people with hormone issues) about why s/he is in charge and why they need to follow rules. At the beginning of the year, regardless of grade level, every teacher spends a huge amount of time setting up procedures and protocols. If you feel that your significant other is incorrect in her statement that, "George Clooney is the best Batman ever!" take some advice from Elsa and Let it Go! Granted, there may be times when you literally have to bite your tongue--off--to follow this rule but please remember, we are under a lot of stress and sometimes we just need to have our ideas confirmed, but for the most part, try to avoid senseless arguments. Now, if your husband the science teacher is telling you that dishwashing soap is a nice substitute for ketchup, that might be an argument you want to pursue.
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| Is it really worth it? You know, even if you win, you lose. (Pic via Pixabay) |
3) Go out of your way to be nice (really nice!) You know those new shoes your wife, the teacher, has been eyeing but their not exactly in the budget? Get them for her. If you're in the area at lunch time, bring him his favorite fast food. If you know how to use the internet (and if you're reading this, I bet you do!) you can go to ProFlowers and make all of the other teachers so totally jealous! You will be spouse of the year (of course, that's probably only if your spouse is a female. . . .but not necessarily) when your loved one receives a gorgeous bouquet at school. Even if it's just a barrage of post-it notes on the bathroom mirror, on the fridge, on the dash of the car, etc., letting him or her know that you understand how important these first few weeks are, it means a huge deal to us.
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| Flowers, the easiest way to say I love you--unless your spouse has allergies. (Pic via Flikr) |
4) Avoid leaving town if at all possible. This is especially true if you have kids (see #5!). If you are one of those people who gets to go out of town on business sometimes (teachers are also impressed by people who get to leave for lunch, talk to adults at work, and pee whenever they need to) then do whatever you can to avoid being out of town these first few weeks back. If you're not there, you can't follow all of the other steps. And, as much as we might want to kill you simply because you are there, you really do make our lives easier with your existence. Usually.
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| "I'm leaving on a jet plane!" No, no you're not! (Pic via Pixabay) |
5) If you have children (or pets, or houseplants) take care of them as if you were a single parent. I cannot stress this enough--especially if your spouse, like myself, just spent the entire summer as a "stay at home parent" taking care of the little darlings. If you are home, you're on call. Period. Now, my husband doesn't get home until about two hours after me and I understand that I am going to be in charge of my daughters from 4:30-6:30. The second he walks in the door--they are his. Whether he likes it or not. I don't care if they are doing a beautiful rendition of Swan Lake that is completely irresistible to me--I will resist. If my husband is home, he is in charge of all toy demands, food necessities, potty accidents, and the dreaded "spider attack!" He is also on bath time and bedtime duty. Because, as an elementary school teacher, I've wiped enough noses and tied enough shoes for one day!
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| These little beasties are all yours! (Pic via Pixabay--not my actual darling children!) |
So, how can you tell when the battle-phase is over and you can become a little more lax on these rules? The first indication will be the glazed look in your spouse's eyes--it will start to lessen. It will be hard to tell at first, but eventually, he or she will look as if they recognize you again. Then, you will start to hear some success stories, rather than just the horrific tales of awful children and their crimes against nature. "Billy stayed in his seat for five minutes today and I only had to give him eight stickers!" This is a good sign! Then, finally, one day, possibly in the middle of September, your significant other will actually have time to fulfill a household chore! You will awake to see him or her standing in front of the stove, cooking breakfast, while, perhaps, the dishwasher buzzes in the background. You can take this as a sure sign that the "Beginning of School" trauma is over and that you have your lovely wife or husband back--at least for a little while, until "State Testing" arrives. Then, kindly refer back to this post and repeat as necessary.
Happy First Day back everyone!!!
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